Parties & Premieres

The weekend had been one big, fabulous rainbow-colored blur. It was LA Pride and bombshell Gigi Delani had not disappointed her key demographic by being a fixture at every major event. The closing night bash at the Abbey was no exception. Even a caustic exchange between Gigi and Andy Cohen at the back bar wasn't enough to mar a stellar evening. Shortly before 2 am, party-goers spotted a disheveled Gigi slumped against the fireplace, missing a shoe, her iPhone in shards on the floor in front of her, drunkenly slurring out the words to Lady Gaga's 'Judas'.

At a Halloween bash thrown by Brittany Snow at the iconic Chateau Marmont hotel, Gigi Delani's sexy French maid outfit was a hit. The party was in full swing and Gigi was feeling no pain after winning a drinking contest between herself, Ashanti and pint-sized TV star Seth Green. At one point, she caught a glimpse of herself in a giant mirror, saw the maid outfit and assumed that she was, in fact, a maid. In a boozy haze, Delani stumbled from floor to floor, cleaning rooms, dusting, making beds and restocking toiletries. It wasn't until halfway through filling out her W-4 form in HR that she began to sober up and question exactly what was happening around her.

As Gigi Delani bobbed for apples at a birthday party for Daniel Radcliffe at his rented Hollywood Hills condo, partygoers cheered and championed her steely determination. After nearly three minutes, a wave of realization rolled over the crowd that the starlet had, in fact, passed out in the punch bowl. 911 was quickly dialed.

Seriously, WHERE is my PHOOOOOOOONE?!!

The opening night gala for the LA Art Show was a star-studded event and bombshell Gigi Delani was out to show the world that recent troubles reported in the press were all behind her. Radiant in Carolina Herrera, Gigi turned it on for the cameras but she knew the REAL test was going to be inside. She hadn't seen James Franco since their disastrous 'date' and as for Ali Larter? That was going to take maturity, deep cleansing breaths and, if it was anything like their encounter at Big Lots, extra security.

Statuesque entertainment news correspondent Nancy O'Dell was astonished to see that Hollywood uber-vixen Gigi Delani had managed such a quick recovery from the tumultuous last few weeks. The rumor mill had exploded with tales of discord on the set of her latest film, the Eli Roth horror flick 'Cadaver Dogs', fiery altercations between Delani and co-star Olivia Wilde, a wrongful termination suit filed by her former personal assistant, a Twitter war with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, an IRS audit of her 2009 tax return and a small house fire started by a faulty humidifier. But tonight? She'd gotten it right. Gorgeously gowned in peach Calvin Klein, a resplendent Gigi Delani showed the world that looking good was the best revenge.

'Ugh....I can't believe I lost to Anna Kendrick again at the SAG Awards...oh my god, why is it so BRIGHT in here, it's the middle of the night!....…Seriously, where am I?........My publicist told me that award was in the bag....…I can't feel my lips…....And what was the deal with Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes sitting in the front row all over each other like that? Just to rub it in my face? Wait, why were they even in the FRONT ROW??.....…I must be dying...... that is the only explanation for a light this bright…What is that smell?…..Ok, wait, someone just shouted 'last call'..... I knew it, I'm dead and heaven looks just like a tacky dive bar on Cahuenga…..this is HEAVEN, right???'

In New York for Blaine Trump's annual New Year's Eve gala, Gigi wandered off to reflect on the past year. "It was a tumultuous one", Gigi mused, as the crowd below started the 10 second count down,"but at least Katy Perry and I are talking again, and -- Kathy Griffin and Anderson Copper look SO SMALL from up here! Anyway, 2013 will be a TRIUMPH! I will grab the brass ring and - wait, is this thing MOVING?!!"

After losing the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Miniseries to Dame Maggie Smith at the Golden Globes, Gigi Delani lost interest in the rest of the show. The starlet kept herself occupied for the next 3 hours by playing Solitaire, ordering in a pizza and Instagramming photos of nearby celebrities from unflattering angles.

These are my dear friends, hunky creative director Mario Aguirre and the often-charming British import Karen James at my art retrospective. I hope Karen's feeling better. She had a bacon-wrapped hotdog from a street vendor outside of the 99 Cent store on her way to the exhibition. Ah well, nothing like three days of dry heaves to jump-start that diet plan! XOXO

Here I am with Blake Reed, some guy in a sweater vest, Damon Lantz and former "Overhaulin' babe, AJ - thanks for coming out to support guys! And Damon? Sorry to hear about that little ...er, issue. But Colin Farell told me he SWEARS by Valtrex. Lemme know, babe :)

Gigi hoped to steal the spotlight at the 'Hansel and Gretel' premiere but as she took to the red carpet and flashbulbs popped, a slow realization washed over her that perhaps this was NOT the 'Hansel & Gretel' she was thinking of...

Another premiere, another opening, another event - it was all a glittering blur for Hollywood's reigning "IT" girl Gigi Delani. As the statuesque blonde worked the red carpet for photogs, gorgeously gowned in vintage Alan Del Rosario, Gigi felt confident and serene. And as the valium washed through her veins she simply smiled for the cameras....simply.....smiled...